STORY: OPERATING THEATRE

CLASSROOM-READY NARRATIVE

This morning I feel like ranting and raving! I shouldn’t have watched anything over breakfast. I shouldn’t have pressed play! Too late now.

YouTube is evil! YouTubers (or YouTube influencers – call them what you want) are a bunch of rank amateurs. They would go to any lengths to bask in their moment of online fame.

And yes, you could side with them and say that it takes all sorts on the Internet… but come on!

There is this surgeon who records his operations and uploads the videos to YouTube. The thing is, he is not a qualified doctor. And, to make things worse, he operates on patients in his own flat.

Why would any of his patients trust him is beyond me. He must be mesmerizing them. Or perhaps he spikes their drinks and food… No clue!

Anyway, if that wasn’t enough, he takes minute-by-minute notes about each and every operation he performs. In these notes, he records his emotional reactions and voices his opinions about every single patient. Some of them highly inappropriate, to say the least!

And then, he has the nerve to post these notes, alongside his videos, on YouTube and on his blog – for everyone to see… To give you an idea, here is a sample:

  • 1:16 – Surgery is taking longer than expected. Getting hungry.
  • 1:50 – I think I’m enjoying this too much.
  • 3:00 – Urge to eat patient is overwhelming.
  • 3:08 – Patient is delicious.

It’s obnoxious! It turns my stomach. And it pushes my buttons! I’m fuming! These practices should be terminated this instant – no provisos! Am I the only one who cares?!

End of rant!

PS: Well, if you aren’t too squeamish, watch the video HEREA disclaimer: This video may well put you off food for quite a while, even if you are a sworn vegetarian, a newly converted vegan or a strict fruitarian. You’ve been warned!

THE STORY BEHIND OUR STORY

  • The Strawberry Seed Extraction and Nutella Augmentation video – watch here
  • An interview with the Food Surgeon – read here
  • The Food Surgeon’s YouTube channel – follow here 
  • The Food Surgeon’s blog – follow here

MINIMAL LEVEL

  • B1+

Juicy bits of language

  • ranting and raving
  • a bunch of rank amateurs
  • go to any lengths to do sth
  • bask in your moment of (fame)
  • side with sbd
  • it takes all sorts
  • operate on sbd
  • be operated on
  • perform operations/perform surgery
  • have surgery
  • mesmerize sbd
  • spike sbd’s drinks/food
  • beyond me
  • have the nerve to do sth
  • be overwhelming
  • be obnoxious
  • turn your stomach
  • push your buttons
  • be fuming
  • terminate practices
  • no provisos
  • be squeamish
  • put sbd off sth
  • a sworn/newly converted/strict vegetarian

Photos: Kelly Sikkema (featured) and Piron Guillaume via unsplash.com

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