Narrative | classroom-ready
Gav Shepherd gets a new job after getting the sack for being too _____
When I meet Gav for the first time, at a semi-official late-night barbecue in the gardens of the Governor’s Residence in sunny Brisbane, he isn’t preoccupied with politics. Conversely, he is surrounded by a crowd of ladies who can’t keep their eyes (and hands!) off him. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying their company and attention, ignoring all the political debates around him. Gav is at his cutest and he is in his element – no doubt about that. And so are the girls. Still, I remember clearly my fleeting thoughts of the moment: Does Gav have a girlfriend? Does she know what he is busy doing at work? How does/would it make her feel?
Rewind to Brisbane, 16 months earlier.
For the young charming Australian, a native of Brisbane, pursuing a career in the police forces seemed the only option – it runs in the family, as they say. In the early days of his professional training, his police supervisors were highly optimistic: “if the family bloodline is anything to go by, in 16 months Gav Shepherd will be tracking and catching criminals as a proud member of the Queensland Police Service in Brisbane, Eastern Australia!”.
However, their optimism was premature and on several occasions, Gav had to be told to shape up or ship out as he apparently wasn’t up to the tasks. Words of warning didn’t quite work, though, and it soon became apparent that Gav wasn’t cut out for the job of a police officer. Eventually, he ended up getting the sack because – as the police put it in the official press release – he “did not display the necessary aptitude for a life on the front line.”
As an eager beaver, Gav could not be blamed for his laziness or lack of devotion. The opposite was true – he was extremely keen and his team rooted for him. The problem was, Gav was too sociable and too adorable for the job. He loved people, and would much rather get friendly with a suspect than help arrest or tackle criminals.
Gav Shepherd gets a new job after getting the sack for being too friendly
However, as one door closes another opens: what Gav lacked in crime-fighting ability also happened to make him a perfect candidate for another position. Being the good-looking lad that he is – real eye candy who knows all about his charm even if he plays it down – Gav didn’t have to spend a lot of time standing in line with the unemployed because he landed an even better role for himself. Gav knew which empathy buttons to push and the governor of Queensland, Paul de Jersey, soon offered him a job fit for his personality and charisma. Gavel didn’t think twice and took a career leap. All he has to do now is just be his usual, social, adorable, lovable, cute and charming self.
“He may have missed out on becoming a Queensland police officer, but it is abundantly clear that Gav has the characteristics necessary to adequately fulfill duties as Queensland’s official vice-regal officer,” the Governor wrote. Those duties include attending official ceremonies as well as welcoming visitors and tour groups to the province’s government house. As a spokesperson for the governor’s office said, “Gav on occasions sits in on briefings with the governor. He has also demonstrated his capacity to uphold the ceremonial importance of his role.”
The Governor had met Gav for the first time when the police trainee had been staying at the governor’s official residence throughout his 16-month training. So, the moment the politician heard that Gav had been dismissed because of his lovely personality, he stepped in and officially hired him.
Gav began the new, highly prestigious position in February 2017 after signing his contract. “We hope Gav’s with us for a long, long time into the future,” the governor told the local media.
Strangely enough, nobody seems to criticise the local police authorities for making this odd decision. How bizarre to have someone fired for being an adorable guy, loveable and so easy on the eye!
Meet Gav(el, the German Shepherd):
Read his work contract:
STORY (the real one – a must read!)
- Read the article about Gavel from Huffington Post
B2, C1, C2
JUICY BITS OF LANGUAGE:
- pursue a career in …
- run in the family
- shape up or ship out
- (not) be up to the task
- (not) be cut out for the job of …
- get/give the sack
- display the necessary aptitude for …
- an eager beaver
- as one door closes another opens
- make someone a perfect candidate for …
- a job fit for your personality
- take a career leap
- miss out on …
- fulfill duties as …
- the duties include …
- demonstrate your capacity to …
- hire someone
- be preoccupied with …
- root for sbd
- play it down
- land a job
- fleeting thoughts
- premature optimism